She is a Tierraorist

"Just Hold It Like This"

She is a Tierraorist, and no I'm not speaking about Selma.  There is no bigger candidate right now for the Bachelor Pad then our favorite Sean Suitor the one and only Tierra  "The Tierrable" "The Tierraorist" or maybe even to some "The Tierrafic".

So last week I gave ABC Production major props for the drop the rose over the balcony scene with the close-up of the rose splattering against the ground with petals flying.......but I may have been a little premature in my praise.   Let me give you a hint ABC, if you want to create drama on the 2 on 1 date about who is going to go home don't run a preview of TOMORROW's episode with one of the girls still on.  We all knew Jackie had no chance because you have been showing endless promos of Tierra's hypothermic shock and tubes up her nose (on a sidenote I don't think I could hook up with someone ever again once I had the visual of the tubes in the nose).  Jackie did take away any remaining drama by taking the opportunity on the one on one date to tattle and go into girl drama.  How many times do I have to tell these broads that you do not get involved in girl drama.  If you get one on one with Sean you take that time to complement him and make-out   Why is this concept so difficult?   Also if you are going to be drama (aka Daniella) you have to quickly transition from drama to making-out.  I have never been a witness to such a quick transition from bawling to ehhhhhhhhh tongue down throat, it was weird, but it bought her another night and yes she is going home tonight.

Anyone notice that Lindsay raved about Sean's morals and that he is such a "classy" guy as she jumped up to straddle him?  Lindsay also brought us "He is so good looking on the eyes", as opposed to what, good looking on the feet? elbow? nose?  On a somewhat unrelated but related because she was on the Bachelor note, I have unfortunately not heard of Sarah Darling, however, love her, I haven't heard a lyric as clever as "I wanna be your cigarette" since Taylor Swift said  I knew you were trouble when you walked in.  Who doesn't want to be a disgusting, smelly serial killer?

The Group Date was awesome even if it turned out to be pointless.  The girls participated in a lumberjack challenge which involved milking a goat.  Our pure Selma showed Desiree that milking a goat was akin to giving an HJ.  Selma, I hope your mother wasn't watching that demo because you looked like a pro.  In the end the red team wins and Catherine, Ashlee, Daniella and someone else I can't remember were sent back to the hotel.  ABC proceeded with another production snafu when in one scene they are celebrating and Robyn has on her red short and a short second later Robyn no longer has the red shirt? Weird?

The lumberjack winners headed to a bar where they are informed that even though Desiree chugged a cup of warm goat's milk that the other team is also being invited back.   The winners immediately begin to pout especially Robyn.   Desiree did have a good line "We won and what do we get, time with Shawn, oh cool the losers get it too", that was kinda funny.

To make things worse not only do the four losers get to join the date but Stalkierra wanders out and finds Sean to tell him that she came all the way to Montana to be with him not to get slapped in the face by some 2 on 1 date.  Quite a sacrifice she made holing up in that 5 star resort.  I would like to hate on Tierra for wandering about Montana looking for Sean but do we not find Sean incredibly finding Emily in a random alley in Prague....Tierra went to his own playbook, touche.

I love me some Catherine, but could she please unclench her teeth when she talks.

Finally we get to the 2 on 1 date where Tierra is in her element, she gives us numerous crazy laughing videos while being interviewed by production and in order to seal the deal lets us know that her last boyfriend was an addict and just so you know he is not still around he is now dead.  Aha it all makes sense now ....sorta...well not at all.  So if you used to date an addict you now have license to act like a crazy embecil, okay on that note here is a rose.  BTW where did Jackie come from?  Has she been on the show before or is she some Random they picked up in Montana?

Does anyone else notice Tierra's language in solo or around the girls ie "If I was fighter I would beat the sh*% out of these bit*%#*."  But around Sean she drops a "What the Heck".  Pretty good.

So Robyn joins Jackie and gets bounced.  No reason to be sad though Robyn you have made us all proud and you will go home with the accomplishment: Longest a black woman has ever lasted on a dating show.  We elected Obama and Sean kept you around until the travel dates a true sign that our racial attitudes are evolving.  


Uh, What's that your Honor?  Why am I furiously typing on my laptop in the Courtroom?..........Sorry readers I gotta go.....we'll talk again tonight when Tierra starts convulsing.