Bachelor Recap: My Face Is Frickin Tired, If Only I Could Control It

Ahhh I Can't Control My Face

 Finally we get to some warm weather where we can really get to know the girls personalities.  The first one on one card comes and cougar alert, cougar alert the date is going to AshLee.

One On One - AshLee
The date starts with Sean telling us that he has seen another side of AshLee and he has a pretty good idea who AshLee as she simultaneously peels off her clothes.   And woe, I now have also seen another side of AshLee and I definitely did not know who she was.  She is so much more than I previously knew, Montana can do that to you.  AshLee has definitely come to play with that bikini, and is it just me or does she have a little of that Tori Spelling gap cleavage that we all love?

AshLee lets us know that she loves the town of St. Croix.  I hate to admit but JBJ is a bit of a geography nerd so I may have to correct AshLee a bit.  St. Croix is not a town it is actually an island, part of the U.S. Virgin Islands to be exact.   

AshLee then tells Sean that she has a terrible secret from her past, we wait and wait for her to divulge c'mon what is it already?  Gonorrhea from a tractor? Bortion? Jail Time?  Fiance at home?  Ahh the good old I've been married before, and it was when I was 17.   Sean lets her know that it is fine and that he thought it was going to be something way worse.  I have to agree, from my experience most 17 year olds that get married do not have issues, keep it moving, and they do heading to the ocean for some get to know you time.


We cut back to the girls back at the house and learn that Tierra is sleeping in a cot rather than being in the vicinity of the other girls.  The date card comes and we learn that Tierra is finally getting that one on one she has been coveting and that they are going to explore the city.

Sean how insensitive can you be, don't you know that Tierra is really into boating?  Instead you make her deal with sweat and bugs and people, what a jerk.


One On One - Tierra
Tierra and Sean head into town and she acts like this is the best date she has ever been on.  Tierra tells us she is sweaty, gross and thirsty.   America agrees.  Sean and Tierra shop at a jewelry stand on the street and she picks out a necklace and tells us Sean knew just where to take her shopping as if he was choosing between Tiffany and Coach.

Tierra confronts Sean about an apparent distance and realizes that AshLee "threw her under the bus" and ruined her opportunity at true love.  At least it had nothing to do with her personality.         


Group Date - Sun Up to Sun Down
Sean wakes the girls up and snaps pictures of them with no makeup and the no makeup loser appears to be Lindsay.

They then head to the easternmost part of St. Croix to see the sunrise.  Sean tells the girls that to the left is the Atlantic Ocean and to the right the Caribbean.   Okay here come JBJ the geography nerd again, the Caribbean is actually part of the Atlantic Ocean.

Things we learned on the group date: 1) Desiree is good at tying men up; 2) Catherine's dad tried to kill himself in front of her and her siblings, I don't think a tree was involved 3) Sean really likes Lindsay  for some reason, she isn't cute and she dressed up in a wedding dress and got wasted in week one?


One On One - Leslie
Every year we have one, the person that gets booted for not breaking down emotional walls.  This year the victim was Leslie, for some reason she couldn't allow the process of 25 girls dating 1 guy to break down the walls that she has put it up and it cost her a chance at love.  She tried to be cool by letting Sean know that she just likes to chill with her man and watch football and have a few beers, but apparently that wasn't enough.


Meanwhile, back at the house all hell has broken loose between Tierra and AshLee and finally some good material for JBJ to work with.

Tierra decides to confront AshLee about sabotaging her date with Sean.   Tierra lets AshLee know that 1) women are jealous of her but that men love her; 2) AshLee is old and that at 32 she should already have a man and a family; 3) Tierra can't control her face, she wishes she could but she can't, her eyebrows are going to do what they are going to do besides if she could control her face to smile all the time her face would be frickin tired; 4) Apparently she can't control the eyebrows because she has never had botox (I was unaware that botox gave you eyebrow control?  Who says that you can't learn things from reality dating shows).  

I have to agree with Tierra, during her breakdown I couldn't control my face and by the end of the episode my face was exhausted.

While the face/eyebrow drama is going down Sean is out back with his sister getting some advice (and sound advice at that).  Sean's sister basically tells him don't be the idiot that ends up with Courtney or Vienna.   Sean tells her about the Tierraorist and asks if she wants to meet her.  Sean goes to get Tierra and walks in on the unfolding drama at which point he wastes no time and dumps Tierra (you will be missed Tierrable, see you this summer on the Bachelor Pad).  


Rose Ceremony:
Sean shows up and lets the girls know the Tierraorist is gone and the girls prove Tierra right as they could not control their faces or eyebrows from showing their satisfaction.

AshLee unnecessarily freaks out thinking that Sean's drama barb was directed at her but in the end Leslie and her walls get the ax.

Catherine is oddly very upset about Leslie going?  If Leslie is so great shouldn't you be happy she is gone? 

Desiree is stoked to take Sean to the family tent to meet her parents.   


Preview Of Hometown Week:
Catherine is a player not ready to settle down.

Lindsay's 5 star general dad is surprisingly very serious.   

Desiree's brother is about to get a beatdown, you don't talk to our boy Sean like that.  Have you not seen him with his shirt off?

Desiree's Brother Is Dead

JBJ Prediction: Des v. AshLee with Des winning (and no I never go to spoiler sites, avoid them like the plague)