Whyyyyyyyyyyyy? She Was Running You Idiot!

I Told You I Was Running!

Just when I though ABC couldn't be any lamer with their fake previews they totally redeem themselves.  I was completely transfixed as the "Mormon Heartbreaker" ruined Des' life, but I suppose I should recap the dates with Messieurs irrelevant Drew and Chris.

Drew:
Drew and Des explore Antigua and Drew giggles a lot.  It rains and so they bypass dinner to go to the fantasy suite where Des pretends Drew is Brooks as they make out.

Chris:
Poem, awkward conversation about Seattle, and "watching the stars" at the fantasy suite as Des pretends Chris is Brooks as they make out in the hot tub.  Screw it let's get to the real Drama!

BROOKS:
Touted by Chris Harrison as the TV event of the summer and for once ABC is understated, I would call it the TV event of the decade.  We start off with Brooks traveling to Boise to talk to his mom and sister about his unloving heart.  Well at least this explains the crosses and non-Mormon home they were in last week, it wasn't Brooks' mom's home.   Brooks tells his Mom that while Des is great, his heart just isn't feeling it and unless something changes he is going to dump Des, uh oh!

Brooks makes it to Antigua and instead of Des showing up to pick him up for the date we get Harrison showing up at his cabana.   My nerves were immediately calmed, if Harrison can't fix this no one can. Brooks tries, unsuccessfully, to explain to Harrison how he is feeling.  Harrison ingeniously asks Brooks if he has having a hard time because his parents divorced making it hard for him to commit. Yes, Harrison, you did it, you have broken through Brooks' cold heart and cured 20 years of psychological trauma.  However, Brooks quickly dismisses this idea saying he is ready to be married just not to Des.  Oh man this is not good, if Harrison can't get through to Brooks, Des has no chance.

Oh well, no big deal, maybe Des was just going to pick Chris anyway.  Nevermind.

Queue up Des talking about how excited she is to see Brooks and what they are going to be doing on their date, catamaran, private beach, fantasy suite blah blah blah.  Cruel ABC, just cruel.  

Brooks shows up and Des immediately knows something is wrong.  Brooks hems and haws for about two segments while Des tells him that she is completely devastated.  We also get a glimpse into production as Des tells Brooks that it has always been him and that she loves him.  Brooks asks why she didn't tell him before and she tells him she couldn't, and that was why they did the lame walking/skipping/jogging/running code and she told him she was running and at the finish line.   And I thought their code was just some lame game to avoid breaking down walls and saying how you really feel, no it was just a ploy to trick the Bachelor producers to leave some semblance of drama.

Quick Interlude: Des does know that Brooks has a butthole on his chin right?

Des completely breaks-down, as do I.  This is heartbreaking, why can't people that she loves, love her back?

Brooks is devastated by Des' devastation as he lets us know he wished that she loved Drew or Chris which is quite apparent at this point, that she does not.  Brooks finally gets to the limo and Des heads to the dock to bawl oh wait is she going to walk right off the end of the dock, don't do it Des, don't do it, okay phew she is just going to sit down to cry.

So where does this leave those poor schmucks Drew and Chris.  Obviously they can't be with Des, especially once they see this footage.  There is no way Drew can just giggle this off.  There is no way Chris can get past this with a poem or a nose adjustment.  They may as well pack up as Des is not marrying either of them.

So, what could ABC possibly do for three hours next week?  I have a theory and this may be more like a hope and a prayer but could Brooks change his mind?   I think his cold heart was melted by Des' love for him and he is going to tell that limo to pull over so he can go and rescue his bride to be.   Who knows, but I won't take ABC's claims of most dramatic finale ever for granted ever again.