The Most Disappointing TV Event Of The Summer

Why Couldn't You Just Come Back? Now I Have To Move To Seattle.

There I was trembling with excitement and anticipation for the inevitable return of Brooks.  I mean c'mon, I waited through 1:45 minutes of audience interviews, former contestant interviews, Harrison blather and now the moment we have all been waiting for, there is Des waiting on the bluff with gorgeous Antigua ocean views (am I the only one who has been calling it Antigwa for the last 36 years? I digress), beautiful gown, here comes the limo, we all know it's Brooks in that limo, the limo stops the door opens, whatttttttt that is Chris queue the price is right fail music.  

What an epic fail.

The only highlights of the episode were 1) the rose ceremony with Des clearly showing the guys that she was not happy that there are only two roses and them two to give them to (wo that was a lot of two/to's in one sentence) and 2) the breakup with Drew, how awkward was it when they were riding the horses and she asked him what he's been up to: Des: hey Drew you been hangin at the pool; Drew: No not really just in my room and then at the beach Drew: Cheers to being madly in love; Des: Get out of here loser I just lost the love of my life; and 3) the return of Nate; I loved how Chris pretended like he was just meeting him as if he didn't know who Nate was.  All of America know who Nate is and we are all scared poopless of him.   Nate makes Michael G look like a quivering 1st year law student when it comes to cross-examination.    

Des played the "sometimes you have to go through heartbreak to realize that what you have always wanted is right in front of you" card to perfection, and Chris clearly fell for it.  And Harrison in AFTR you couldn't ask Chris the one question we all wanted to hear - Hey Chris how does it make you feel to know that you were Des' second choice? You got Brooks' sloppy seconds on the Catamaran ride that he didn't use and his sloppy seconds on the girl he dumped.  

No way this works out, she doesn't really love him, I could see it in her eyes.  I give it 7 months before US weekly has a picture of them on the cover with a giant split.  I mean what is she going to do the first time Chris' dad tries to penetrate her nose with that giant contraption he used on Chris that is a guaranteed dealbreaker.

The saving grace of the night, you know it baby Who Pablo!  This is gonna be real interesante.   For one it is really going to throw my Bachelor fantasy league for a loop, before it was real easy, just pick the minorities last and you would do well, but now this could all change.  I can't wait to see these awkward blond princesses trying to salsa dance with Who-On Pablo and I don't think Harrison even understands him which should make their little discussions fascinating.

All in All it was an okay season, last week was amazing, but they couldn't follow it up this week.  See you in a few months for "El Soltero".