Said James, as his case was dismissed by Michael G Money. Can you believe that James' last name is Case. How ironic (in the Alanis Morissette form of ironic) that the guys led by their lead counsel G Money made a Case against James Case and got him sent packing.
James you will be missed:
 |
| I only want to be the Bachelor if I get sent home, but if Des keeps me then of course I will love her, how do you guys not get it? |
James you will be missed:
Something was definitely in the Spanish air this week. We had heavy petting, heated arguments, penises and a devastating cross-examination.
One on One: Drew
How has it been like 8 or 9 weeks and Drew hasn't had the chance to dump any baggage on Des until this week. Sure enough he grew up with an alcoholic father who has cancer. Nobody knows he has cancer, oh wait now 34 million people know, oooops. Des thanked Drew for feeling comfortable enough to tell her about his dad's alcoholism as she polished off her glass of wine.
The date did have a cool vibe as they drink from arbitrary water taps (last time I did that I got Giardia) and walked through sketchy back alleys with perfectly painted graffiti and random musicians strumming their guitars. I got to give it to Drew with the run from the camera move, that was awesome, you could tell the camera man was trippin (no pun intended) as they sprinted away to get in some heavy petting which thank goodness we got to see because it was superhot.
Drew ends the date by breaking the James news to Des which causes Des to slip into an expletive laced tirade. Drew a word or two of advice: when you are heavy petting don't steer the conversation to some meathead who wants to hook up with lots of women on a boat in Chicago, it causes the heavy petting to stop.
Nonetheless, Drew made a serious move this week and gauging by the previews he is a legit frontrunner, and don't worry we'll get to the previews I watched them 17 times including several times frame by frame.
Group Date: Kickin It With Des
It is soccer time and time for Who Pablo to shine. The guys take on a 7th grade girls soccer team and get crushed due to James being the worst goalie in the history of soccer. James hasn't looked that terrified since he was told that his local grocery store was no longer carrying L.A. Looks hair gel and Axe body spray.
Uh oh, Mormon Brooks just dropped an F bomb. The last Mormon to go F bomb was of course Jef with 1 F and we all know that relationship ended in heartbreak so let's clean it up Brooks.
Chris and Des have a very strange and hard to follow conversation which is topped off with a beautiful poem from Des, these two are beautiful together. BTW Des I hate nit pick, but in your poem you said "sparks have grown" to that you could rhyme something with home. I think sparks usually fly not grow and grow doesn't really rhyme with home anyway, so maybe you should have went with "the sparks have flied and without your love I would have died" or something like that.
Meanwhile, next store Michael G is playing Kasey like a little puppet to get him to confront James which he does like a little sheep.
Why are most lawyers such bags? Michael G Money just cannot help himself as he jumps into the fray with his own cross-examination of James. James tries to interpose an objection by telling G Money that he is trying to introduce inadmissible hearsay into this case to which G Money quickly overrules the objection as what he is saying is clearly one of the exceptions to hearsay.
In the end James is able to stay one more night so that he can tangle some more with the guys. James accomplishes this by letting the water works go and letting Des know that Mikey was the one who led the conversation and that Mikey was probably just "self medicating" with guy talk since he hadn't had a one on one date. That was enough for Des and she lets him head back to the hotel where he can barely fit through the elevator door. As he walks in you have to go and watch Kasey's face as he lets out a big gulp knowing his health is in jeopardy.
One on One: Drew
How has it been like 8 or 9 weeks and Drew hasn't had the chance to dump any baggage on Des until this week. Sure enough he grew up with an alcoholic father who has cancer. Nobody knows he has cancer, oh wait now 34 million people know, oooops. Des thanked Drew for feeling comfortable enough to tell her about his dad's alcoholism as she polished off her glass of wine.
The date did have a cool vibe as they drink from arbitrary water taps (last time I did that I got Giardia) and walked through sketchy back alleys with perfectly painted graffiti and random musicians strumming their guitars. I got to give it to Drew with the run from the camera move, that was awesome, you could tell the camera man was trippin (no pun intended) as they sprinted away to get in some heavy petting which thank goodness we got to see because it was superhot.
Drew ends the date by breaking the James news to Des which causes Des to slip into an expletive laced tirade. Drew a word or two of advice: when you are heavy petting don't steer the conversation to some meathead who wants to hook up with lots of women on a boat in Chicago, it causes the heavy petting to stop.
Nonetheless, Drew made a serious move this week and gauging by the previews he is a legit frontrunner, and don't worry we'll get to the previews I watched them 17 times including several times frame by frame.
Group Date: Kickin It With Des
It is soccer time and time for Who Pablo to shine. The guys take on a 7th grade girls soccer team and get crushed due to James being the worst goalie in the history of soccer. James hasn't looked that terrified since he was told that his local grocery store was no longer carrying L.A. Looks hair gel and Axe body spray.
Uh oh, Mormon Brooks just dropped an F bomb. The last Mormon to go F bomb was of course Jef with 1 F and we all know that relationship ended in heartbreak so let's clean it up Brooks.
Chris and Des have a very strange and hard to follow conversation which is topped off with a beautiful poem from Des, these two are beautiful together. BTW Des I hate nit pick, but in your poem you said "sparks have grown" to that you could rhyme something with home. I think sparks usually fly not grow and grow doesn't really rhyme with home anyway, so maybe you should have went with "the sparks have flied and without your love I would have died" or something like that.
Meanwhile, next store Michael G is playing Kasey like a little puppet to get him to confront James which he does like a little sheep.
Why are most lawyers such bags? Michael G Money just cannot help himself as he jumps into the fray with his own cross-examination of James. James tries to interpose an objection by telling G Money that he is trying to introduce inadmissible hearsay into this case to which G Money quickly overrules the objection as what he is saying is clearly one of the exceptions to hearsay.
In the end James is able to stay one more night so that he can tangle some more with the guys. James accomplishes this by letting the water works go and letting Des know that Mikey was the one who led the conversation and that Mikey was probably just "self medicating" with guy talk since he hadn't had a one on one date. That was enough for Des and she lets him head back to the hotel where he can barely fit through the elevator door. As he walks in you have to go and watch Kasey's face as he lets out a big gulp knowing his health is in jeopardy.
One on One: Zack and Some Dude's Schlong
What is more orange: Zack's skin or Des' jacket?
Des and Zack head to an art studio to do some drawing. Zack draws an absolutely hideous portrait of Des and then a skinny Euro is brought out with no clothes on. The look on Zack's face was priceless and for some reason the instructor is pointing at skinny Eurodude's wiener.
Zack decides to break the ice by pretending that he will now be showing Des his junk only to have a pair of tighty whiteys on. Admittedly I paused it and either Zack put the microphone equipment in there or a tuna can, you be the judge.
Back At The Hotel:
The James drama is heating up. James asks to speak to Drew and Drew has apparently been apprenticing under the master G Money as he handles himself quite well in the argument.
All of the dudes are then chilling in a room and James comes in and squeezes himself right up next to G Money who isn't amused. Chris starts him off and of course G Money finishes him and if you didn't catch it you have to watch G Money wink at the other dudes as he is about to take over the cross examination, like don't worry I got this, this is what I do. After G Money finishes James he is left to run away with his tail tucked between his legs..
Des and Zack head to an art studio to do some drawing. Zack draws an absolutely hideous portrait of Des and then a skinny Euro is brought out with no clothes on. The look on Zack's face was priceless and for some reason the instructor is pointing at skinny Eurodude's wiener.
Zack decides to break the ice by pretending that he will now be showing Des his junk only to have a pair of tighty whiteys on. Admittedly I paused it and either Zack put the microphone equipment in there or a tuna can, you be the judge.
Back At The Hotel:
The James drama is heating up. James asks to speak to Drew and Drew has apparently been apprenticing under the master G Money as he handles himself quite well in the argument.
All of the dudes are then chilling in a room and James comes in and squeezes himself right up next to G Money who isn't amused. Chris starts him off and of course G Money finishes him and if you didn't catch it you have to watch G Money wink at the other dudes as he is about to take over the cross examination, like don't worry I got this, this is what I do. After G Money finishes James he is left to run away with his tail tucked between his legs..
Des comes back and talks to James again as the guys stalk them from the balcony and James almost convinces her to keep him around, but in the end James, Kasey and Who Pablo get the boot.
How does Who Pablo get cut in the only land where it would have been appropriate for her to say "Aceptas Esta Rosa"? Not cool. How is Michael G really still around?
STOP READING IF YOU DON'T WATCH THE PREVIEWS!!!!!!
Previews:
Okay a few points:
The limo shots: Chris daytime, Brooks daytime, G Money night and Zack night. No limo shot for Drew.
When Des goes to see Brooks, that was not his house in Utah. How do I know? The only tiled stairs in Utah are at the baptismal font. We all know that it is too dangerous with that many kids running around to have tiled stairs.
ABC wants us to believe that Drew dumps Des. I am predicting a lot of out of context quotes from that preview.
Someone was holding a ring and it looked like spray tan Zack.
How does Who Pablo get cut in the only land where it would have been appropriate for her to say "Aceptas Esta Rosa"? Not cool. How is Michael G really still around?
STOP READING IF YOU DON'T WATCH THE PREVIEWS!!!!!!
Previews:
Okay a few points:
The limo shots: Chris daytime, Brooks daytime, G Money night and Zack night. No limo shot for Drew.
When Des goes to see Brooks, that was not his house in Utah. How do I know? The only tiled stairs in Utah are at the baptismal font. We all know that it is too dangerous with that many kids running around to have tiled stairs.
ABC wants us to believe that Drew dumps Des. I am predicting a lot of out of context quotes from that preview.
Someone was holding a ring and it looked like spray tan Zack.
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