This Blog Will Make Your Pits Sweat

Can't Touch This

What better place to contemplate your future in Arlington, Iowa than Bali.  

Does the fantasy suite come out of Harrison's salary?  Why does Harrison right in bubble letters? Why does the fantasy suite have sheer drapes? Are monkeys just glorified rats?

One On One: Kaitlyn

Forget Neil Lane, I think the Bachelor needs to sign a product placement deal with Axe.  Chris' pits have been on serious display this season, and on his date with Kaitlyn the pits, back, shoulders and chest made a sweaty appearance.  As if the sweat wasn't enough of an aphrodisiac they proceeded to allow a bunch of monkeys to defecate all over him.   Sweaty Pits + Monkey Urine + Feces......must be time for the fantasy suite.  

Kaitlyn lets Chris know she is falling in love and Chris goes ahead and tells her he is also falling in love.  Hey, whatever it takes, to get some fantasy time before you send her packing, I'm not hating.  

P.S. Nice shorts Kaitlyn, even Jillian was jealous of those.   

One on One: Whitney

Chris and Whitney are on a boat.   It must have been a wild night with Kaitlyn because Chris could not seem more disinterested.  Did Chris say a single word on the boat?  It was nothing but Whitney talking non-stop about her sister, her job, her love for Chris etc.. etc.. and Chris looks really bored.   The only person interested in this date is the boat conductor.      

Back at dinner Chris starts to talk Whitney out of Arlington, letting her know, there is absolutely nothing to do there.  On the bright side if Whitney wants to keep her job in Chicago she could leave every morning at 3:30 to get to work by 8.  Despite Chris telling her how much she will hate it, Whitney fights through and tells him she is cool with being a mom.  With that behind them it's fantasy suite time and what better way to get some privacy than shutting a see through drape.  

One on One: Becca

Is Becca wearing umbros?  So it is fantasy suite week and Becca is a virgin, I wonder what they are going to talk about?

It was nice to see a glimpse of how profound Chris and Becca can be: 

Becca: "Going to Arlington was a big deal because I got out of the car and it was like this is real small and I remember sharing that with you and you were like...it is small."  Fascinating.

Meanwhile, Chris gets Becca back to the fantasy suite.  I was waiting for a pickup line, something along the lines of Arlington may be small, but if you get a little closer I'll show you something big.   But before Chris could make his move Becca let him know she had something to share with him. You could see Chris immediately scan the room for a laptop, or for Sanderson Poe, he's been down this road before.

Becca breaks the news and Chris takes it like a champ.  His eyebrows start to twitch out and he responds with, and I quote: "I'm glad that you you know I it never easy to respond to that kind of stuff ummm but I respect that."  I'm sure Becca felt way better with that speech.

I think Becca approached the virgin issue way wrong.  A more proven approach when you are breaking the news regarding your virginity is to show him a genie bellybutton ring and have him rub it.

Chris and Becca spend the night and the big question is did he take the flower.  Based on her twitter account @beccatilley5 it appears that all Chris got was the sugar donut.  

Rose Ceremony:

Uh oh, Chris wants to talk to Becca prior to handing out the roses.  Whitney and Kaitlyn begin the gloating....oh Chris is such a great guy he wants to let her down soft........record scratch.......he is bringing her back to the rose ceremony....uh oh.  Whitney gets a rose, no surprise there.

It is Becca v. Kaitlyn.  Who would fit better in Iowa?  The Virgin blue baller or the Nose-ring tatted out rap-star. The second Kaitlyn got the nose ring and elbow tats she lost her chance at true love with a farmer.  I did cry though when she put her head on his chest and cried by the van.  For real.  

But props to Kaitlyn she didn't let the devastation get in the way of safety, she was real intent on getting that seat-belt on.   

Can't wait for "The Women Tell Some" next week.  Here's a preview: Crazy: 1) Kelsey, 2) Ashley S. Fake: 1) Britt, 2) Kelsey.  Hurt/Sad: 1) Kaitlyn, 2) Carly.  Misunderstood/Editing Victim: 1) Jade, 2) Jordan, 3) Tara, 4) Ashley I. 

P.P.S. I think Becca's going to win.