The Girls Go Down Under

Who Says I Kiss Weird?

 So the show traveled down under this week, although apparently JP and Clare wanted a preview of down under last week.   The majority of this week's episode was a mix of making out and the use of the word "like".  Were we in New Zealand or the San Fernando Valley like it was like so like beautiful in New Zealand and like Juan Pablo is like such a like great guy and like all I want is like my happy ending.  Next week I will be taking a shot of Dr. Pepper for every time the girls use the word like and every time Juan Pable makes his hmmmmm sound.  

One on One Date: A One Piece and an Explosion of Love
Andi finally got her one on one date which consisted of lots of metaphors for volcanoes and geysers.  So Andi decided to go "modest with the one-piece, however a couple of problems 1) It was a borderline T-Back with it up her butt; and 2) There was an ample amount of side-boob, but hey I'm not complaining I personally love fake modesty over real modesty any day.

Andy also let us know that it was a perfect metaphor when the geyser went off as it is similar to Juan Pablo's ....... (cover your ears minors) love, phew I thought you might be going somewhere else with it.

Group Date: Crap Throwing and Big Balls
The group date seemed to be a real blast as the girls got into bikinis and chased sheep while Juan Pablo threw crap at them.   Of course the only girl that rolled with it was Renee.   The group then went and hopped in huge inflatable balls and rolled down the hill, I can't hate, it looked pretty dang fun.

They then went to hobbitville for a nightcap where JP finally sent Tre packing.  Let's be honest if Cassandra's kid's name was John or Jacob or Daniel she would still be there, but there was no way JP was going to have a home with Tre and Camila under the same roof.   JP did what he thought was the honorable thing by sending Cassandra home immediately so she wouldn't have to be another day without Tre.  Why do I get the feeling that Cassandra was bummed that she got shafted out of two more days in New Zealand only to have to go home to her 1 bedroom apartment in 8 Mile.

All of the other girls except Kat and Chelsie got to makeout with JP and despite another awkward makeout session Mundo Sharleen got the rose again, this girl is amazing but I feel like she could go suicide bomb and blow herself up at any moment.

One one One: A Kinda Apology and Round 2 Of Taking A Swim
So JP takes Clare on a one on one so they can have the talk about her coercing him into the crazy Vietnamese Sea where they conceived what likely will be some sort of Merman superhero.  Clare let's us know that she is waiting for JP to apologize before she can move on.  JP explains to her, without ever using the word sorry or apologize, that he made a mistake in being so easily coerced by Clare's excitement to "take a swim" with him and that it was four in the morning and he did it so she wouldn't feel bad.  Apology Accepted!  JP that was a jonobeingjono apology if I have ever seen one (you know that apology "I didn't do anything wrong but I am sorry that you feel bad without actually using the word sorry or apology").  How come my wife doesn't go for that apology but Clare does?  Well leave it to the Bachelor to expose what is wrong with all of our relationships.

After JP's apology Clare is ready to get back to the suite for round 2.  Was anyone else hoping that when JP asked her to go change into something comfortable that she would come out in lingerie so that he could chastise her again for being a slore in front of Camila?   Clare came out in sweats and a tank-top and gave JP a 17 minute diatribe on what kind of man she is looking for filled with 43 likes and next thing you know they are "taking a swim" again.

Cocktail Party:
Who Pablo makes out with Nikki so she is safe.
Renee was not sent home with Cassandra so she is safe.
That leaves Kat and Chelsea and they both know it.  Chelsie decides to go with a talk really fast and drop a lot of likes into the conversation strategy to keep her there.  Meanwhile, Kat goes with the my dad was a drunk card and that's why I take things slow card strategy.  Only problem Kat is you already pulled this card a couple of weeks ago, you went to the drunk daddy well too many times and it got you bounced.