Monday, January 7, 2013

Finally! What a Way to Ring In The New Year....True Love Is Back!

50 Shades Of Awesome


Some of you may find this surprising, but this is the first time that I have participated in a Bachelor Fantasy Draft.   There are 8 players in the fantasy league and I must say when the episode began I was feeling pretty good with my selections, I had Slut Ashley (Shades of Gray, Tie Me Up Chick); Adopted Ashley (I'm so sweet and need someone to take care of me); and Lauren (I'm Italian my Dad will break your legs haha).

Prior to the season starting I was somewhat disappointed by the selection of Shawn, however call me crazy but I am all in, he is really growing on me.  I mean Harrison did say he is the most genuine Bachelor they have ever had and we all know how I respect Harrison.  His hanging with Arie prior to meeting the girls was very funny.  Arie helping him practice the breakup with "that's not what you told me last night in the fantasy suite" was really classic.

So when these girls get out of the limo do they think they are meeting a girl, they come up with the most girly ideas (let's throw a penny in a fountain; let's play paddycake paddycake;  let's wear a wedding dress; let's leave lipstick on him; let's show him a back handstand; let's play football (Explicit Warning), now if she had played the center rather than him that would have been appealing).

One of the first questions we always have to ask on week 1 is who will get drunk first? And the winner is...........Lindsay (Wedding Dress).  The ultimate walk of shame, walking back into the house in a wedding dress, drunk after trying and failing to french Shawn.  And just when you thought there could only be one, 50 shades of slurring made an appearance.  

In the fantasy draft I really wanted Sarah with my first pick, but she was gone, and I hate to say this because she seems real sweet and I'm not saying I wouldn't date her, but I ummmmm should I say this, wellllll, okay I don't think Shawn is going to marry a girl with one arm. I hate myself.
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Why did the Utah girl make her own skirt? Homemaking night went too far. 

"I'm Italian and my dad said if you break my heart he'll break your legs haha just kidding"? Oh thank goodness you were kidding we thought you were serious.

Double back handstand minus one of the handstands was so awesome.  She had to have been bleeding, I so wish she would have had a short skirt so we could see her leg bleeding. 

So in the end Shawn keeps Wedding dress and drops 50 shades from Detroit, WTH?  Shawn, did you not hear her interview at the end - "Shawn could have *&$^#d me." and now the next person she meets when she gets home gets tied up and %$*#d.  Oh well at least he is not getting true love mixed up with *#^!ing.  
There is so much more to write but I have to get going I have um, "business" in Detroit and have to book a ticket asap.

  






2 comments:

  1. I don't think the girl in the wedding dress was drunk yet actually, she was high on Lortab though. We have the next black but first women President of the United States in Brook, she currently is a community organizer...following the footsteps of Obama.

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  2. so horrible but when sarah was crying on the couch i said, can someone give her a hand?! I hate myself too.

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