I Just Got Back From An Ocean Swim

"I Just Wanted To Take a Swim"

Finally, some real drama.  I've always said that the Bachelor doesn't officially start until someone potentially gets pregnant.  This week Clare joined the likes of past winners Vienna and Courtney when she decided to flip the script and give Juan her rose.

First One on One: Renee Finally Gets Some
I was happy to see Renee, who is clearly the nicest girl on the show, finally get some culo (you may or may not want to look this up).  Before I continue, can we address the big hangup this year with hooking up...kids.  JP has been holding out on giving Renee some love because of her son Ben.  Is Ben really at home just having some popcorn watching his new dad hook up with 20 chicks?  And why didn't JP  have the some concerns about poor Tre....Tre certainly didn't slow him down when he had a chance to sleepover with Cassandra.  And how does JP go from last week not wanting to kiss a girl on the group date because of Camila to banging Clare this week in the ocean, I am very confused.  The last thing I need is kids getting in the way of quality entertainment....and true love.          

Second One On One: Clare and Juan Pablo float down a river and "take a swim in the ocean"
For some reason the second one on one date had a bunch of other girls hanging out by themselves in the vicinity of JP and Clare, weird.   This certainly didn't stop JP from spending plenty of time chupando la pina with Clare.  The date ended, uh but what is this, oh no Clare is going to JP's room to invite him to "take a swim in the ocean".  Am I the only one that didn't know the true meaning of "taking a swim in the ocean"?  If I had known I would be headed to the beach daily. 

JP's one on one with Clare also sends Andi into a self esteem tailspin.  Andi you do know that you are a good looking attorney who used to have a job with the DA (until you got naked in the name of dogs) and that you are acting like a 14 year old girl because of a man named Who Pablo?  Get it together.   

Third One On One: Nicky and Juan Pablo Fall In Love.....heyyyyyyyyo
Nicky and Juan Pablo go on a date to Hell Cave which is exactly what I would call having to spend 7 minutes with Nicky.  For a summary on how Nicky reacts to rappelling please see my blog from 3 weeks ago when Chelsea had to jump off a bridge, identical reaction.   For some reason JP seems to like Nicky.  Let's see 1) Hot = No; 2) Fun = No 3) Horrible Dresser = Yes; 4) Get's Along Well With Others = No sounds like a perfect wife.

Cocktail Party: Let the Fun Begin
So Clare decides to give a little toast to Looking for Love, Finding Love and Making Love, oh no you didn't Clare.   This little speech leads JP to give her a little speech about how much he regretted taking her rose and how bad of an example Clare is to his daughter.  Nothing makes a girl feel more special than coaxing a guy out of his room to "take a swim in the ocean" only to have the guy later tell her that he really regrets "swimming in the ocean" and that the girl is a horrible example to his daughter regarding the effects of "swimming in the ocean".

Nothing can trigger an allergic reaction quicker than the shame of coercing a guy to swim in the ocean.

BTW I am really starting to like Cassandra.  I loved when Clare came back after taking her allergy medication and Cassandra announced "awkward", nice work Cass.   

JP announces that he is shockingly going to send 3 girls home.  I wonder who it is going to be I just can't figure it out, oh wait there are still 3 girls he has yet to say a word to namely Danielle, Kelly and Alli oh whattaya know those are the 3 sent packing, I can't believe it.    

I can't wait to find out next week if Camila has a sibling.