Finally Juanuary is upon us and it did not disappoint. I thought Whojuan Pablo had a chance to be a very entertaining Bachelor and I for juan think he lived up to the hype. Could he be more cute?
First can we please go back to when we first met Who:
I think we all knew he was destined for stardom and true love. Unfortunately Des liked poetry too much to see the glory of JP.
But Desiree's loss was the world and 27 women's gain as we all get to witness Juan Pablo bloom as he finds a stepmother for Camila.
The first half hour taught us that JP is hot and that he has a daughter. We also got a nice reunion with Sean giving him advice to kiss as many girls as possible, sound advice.
Next we got to meet all of the girls and see their ridiculous shenanigans as they get out of the limo. A few highlights: Cassandra forgot to say anything except for "awwwkward", Lauren S the professional piano player rolling in on a piano while she completely botches the song she is playing, Kelly (occupation: dog lover) bringing her dog, Clare showing JP what he could make her look like in 9 months and finally a bunch of girls speaking some horrible Spanish.
Juan then broke the ice by breaking out a boombox for a dance party, he is so fun! Let the hysterics begin (that means you Lauren H).
Amy J why are you rubbing oil all over Juan's suit? We know you get off from giving massage we saw your bio, but he's in a suit if you want to give him a rubdown lose the oil. Ultimately this ended up being the first massage she gave without a happy ending (you know because she didn't get a rose).
Lauren H does not want to be that girl ah but what the heck: "Hi Juan I was just dumped by my fiance and I was supposed to be a stepmom and I know I am crying about it but I am over it and umm I am ready to be Camila's stepmom because I was already about to be a stepmom, do I get a rose" No.
Sharleen you come to the show knowing the Bachelor is Juan Pablo you don't wear a bra which worked swimmingly as you got the first impression rose why were you acting so put off by getting the rose, the same rose that the other 26 women are literally turning into hyenas (Juan: "Hi ladies welcome" Ladies: "hahhahahahahahahah") to get. I thought she was going to reject the first impression rose which would have been Bachelor history. If you don't want the first impression rose then wear a bra next time.
"Bam I'm here I'm Lucy" but is your occupation really "free spirit" and if so how are you affording to live in Santa Barbara?
Renee smart move playing the mom card that bought you a couple weeks, but I think he is looking for a stepmom not a stepson.
The absolute best part of the show came at the rose ceremony when Juan Pablo called out Kat and Kylie came sprinting out of the line to accept the rose. Uh get back in line Kylie for 3 more minutes then you can get out of line to walk out the door, classic!
My frontrunners after night one: Andi (attorney) and Nikki (blonde).
See you next week it should be juan heck of a season.
P.S. The play on words with juan is never going to get old.
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