Women Tell All: The Sparkle Is Back

I Am Awesome

Who Loves the Bachelor? Yay
Who Loves Sean? Yayyyyyyy
Who Loves Sean With His Shirt Off? Did two girls in the audience really just high five, oh yes they did.

The episode begins with Harrison and Sean hitting the road in a party bus to ambush some viewing parties.  I love how Harrison was talking like they were undercover spies, whispering to Sean to come on as if the people at the party had no idea they were coming.

The sorority house got somewhat interesting as the girls went JBJ at Lake Havasu circa 1995 with a "take it off" chant.  Their chant works and frat boy Sean takes it off.  I am already planning my chant for  Des when she and Harrison come to my viewing party for next season's Bachelorette.

Anyone else notice that there wasn't a single dude at the viewing parties?  Am I the only man in America who can appreciate true love?

In a new twist Bachelor producers are letting us listen in on conversations which are taking place while the show is supposedly not live, ewwwww how edgy we are getting such inside information I feel like a Hollywood Insider.  

Finally the moment we are all waiting for Tierrable the Tierraorist is going to make her appearance.  After a stern lecture from Harrison about hearing her out Tierra joins him on stage to a smattering of claps.

10 things we learned from Tierra in the hotseat:
1) Tierra is misunderstood.
2) AshLee lies but is not a liar
3) Tierra is engaged but no comment on when it happened (is a no comment allowed on a women tell all?).
4) There was a girl named Brooke on the show that we have never seen before who has a lot to say about the Tierra situation despite having only been with her for 2 hours the first night.
5) Robyn and Leslie are shocked by Tierra's lack of regret for her actions.  Leslie must have had the "she made her own cot now she can lie it" joke teed up for weeks, she couldn't even get through the joke without chuckling.
6) If Selma says good morning you damn well better say good morning back.
7) Tierra was Little Miss Nevada, hence her sparkle is legit. 
8) Tierra lights up a room with the morals that she has.
9) Tierra has a father (I thought she had broken family trailer park written all over her)
10) Tierra cannot in fact control her eyebrows.


I was left wanting after the Tierra interview, she lost her swagger, I wanted her to tell those b#*%#es to kiss her ring.

Next up in the hotseat was Sarah.  The only eventful part of her interview was the woman in the audience fighting through tears to say she was my favorite.   Basically we learn from Sarah that she is smart, funny, nice but will never marry, due to her one arm.

Future Bachelorette Des lets us know she is perfect and Sean blew it.  I actually may have to agree, I think she was his best option.  Sean lets us know that Des hides behind her smile and wouldn't let him in (you didn't take her to the fantasy suite so how do you know?).

Did anyone else notice when Sean came out and the girls were clapping that ABC panned to Sarah clapping, that's messed up.

AshLee turns the drama up a bit by letting us know that Sean confessed to her in the fantasy suite that he had no feeling for the other girls.  Don't trip Sean, who amongst us hasn't said something untrue to gain an advantage while in a fantasy suite?   AshLee get over it you were boring and he didn't want to come home every day from work to hear about your abandonment issues.

The previews look pretty intense for the finale.  I paused on the letter and tried to view it with a magnifying glass and (spoiler alert: I was able to spot the words Sean and ripping).  I have been predicting for weeks that the letter is from Des.  ABC has duped me one too many times over the years (ie Sean lives with his parents, Des has a possessive boyfriend, Tierra was on the show to find love) I am not falling for the illusion that on off the women left him at the altar with a letter.

Did Catherine really just say in the preview she is "going out on a limb" (insert tree joke), that is just too easy, I need more of a challenge than that.

I can't wait for next week's 3 hour extravaganza, you can join me on twitter @jonobeingjono for a live tweet up throughout the episode.        

(He better not pick Lindsay)