Bachelor Recap: Please God Don't Send Me To Atlantis

I Wish Someone Could Love Me

 FIRST ONE ON ONE - SARAH:
When Sean and Sarah got to the top of the building did anyone else think that ABC was going to make Sarah rappell down the side of the building, you know one hand on the caribiner and one hand on the rope, oops, better go for the free fall, oops it is illegal for the disabled to be attached to a cable, ummm hurry up and jump already, I'm surprised Sean and Sarah weren't pushed off the edge before the popos got there to shut them down therein forcing Sarah to "prove to Sean and the entire world" that they could define their character and prove their love to each other walking down 35 flights of stairs.

And why is Sean telling Sarah over and over that she just has to trust him with the free fall equipment, shouldn't the operator of the free fall be the one telling her to trust him.

GROUP DATE:
The group date was really edgy and exciting as the girls got to pretend they were harlots in a Harlequin novel aka a regular day in the life of 90% of these lovely ladies.

Sean got to see another side of white Leslie, namely her extremely toned abdomen.   Sean proceeded to ask white Leslie why she was there and her response was:  Honestly..............(long pause)........ (oh boy here it comes a) to be a contestant on the bachelor pad; b) to have a spinoff reality show; c) to meet a celebrity; d) free booze; and/or e) to try and sleep with Harrison) alas the disappointment when she replied to find true love, oh well.

Kristy broke a network television record for the most times saying the word ecstatic in one episode.

Tierra acted utterly Vienna/Courtneyesque by being mean to the other girls while being nice to Shawn (I mean the nerve of her).  We all know this is not a formula for eternal love, oh wait if you can combine being mean to the other girls with a dash of sluttiness it is the perfect recipe for stealing the Bachelor's heart just ask Jake and Ben.

After the Harlequin acting Shawn says "I am ready to get out of these clothes so let's have a pool party" then proceeds to put a suit jacket on and hang out by a pool.  Shawn, I have been to a pool party and usually it requires you or at least someone at the party getting in the pool.

SECOND ONE ON ONE - DESIREE (AKA WINNIE COOPER)
Wow the chemistry between Sean and Des was literally palpable.  I couldn't help but find Des to be super cute in a Winnie Cooper kind of way.  I can only imagine what Kevin would have done to Winnie had she broken out the same bikini that Des did for the hot tub scene.

The date was a real blast, Sean really tricked poor Des into thinking she broke a million dollar piece of art, what a riot.  Where do they come up with this stuff, genius.

I do think Des has to be considered a frontrunner at this point, so long as her ex boyfriend doesn't show up and get knocked out by Sean.

FINAL COCKTAIL PARTY:
Lindsay showed Sean another side of her.......the non-drunk side.

Amanda gives the girls the silent treatment, which pisses the girls off but I've always found the silent treatment to be a very effective way of sending a message.

(Beware Touchy Social Commentary Coming):  I don't think many could argue that when it comes to analyzing the way to find true love on a reality show that I am The Authority.  Usually the easiest way to not find true love is to be a minority.   When handicapping these shows the first couple weeks are very easy to predict just eliminate all of the drunks and and all of the minorities and then we can get down to finding true love.

Leave it to Robyn to address this taboo subject in a very direct and uncomfortable manner by asking Sean the same question we were all asking, what is up with you keeping 3 black girls, an Arab and several really tan white girls?

Then Sean drops the bomb, his last girlfriend was black, and I believe him because he said black and not African-American.

EVICTION CEREMONY:
Nothing to shocking here, a few girls we haven't seen before get sent home and we learn an important lesson that if we are not good we will be sent to Atlantis.


All in all I must say it wasn't the most exciting of Bachelor episodes but according to the previews it should heat up next week when the girls break Tierra's neck.