I Will Still Love You I Just Won't Love On You

Confession time, I thought Emily was boring and the show was dragging a bit.....prior to last night. There was a lot of goodness to get into. Let's start with the next Bachelor...Allesandro. This guy is a true player. Unless you have carried on a three year romantic relationship with your Cousin you don't know what love is. He straight told Em that he would consider compromising his fabulous life as a gypsy grain merchant in order to be with Emily oh and Ricki. Alle, I get it, I didn't lose it translation and I think any of us who have kids can relate to what you were saying. Tony Tony Tony you made such a rookie mistake. You have to wait to use the "I miss my kid so much card" until you have a chance to seal the deal. You were way premature and it got you sent home. You can't break that loving father act out until the fantasy suite (hope you were watching and taking notes Doug). Is there really a guy named "Wolf" on the show? Has Alejandro (the Colombian ear ring homey) said one word on the show or to Emily? Same for Michael (long hair dude)? Ryan had the classic conversation of the night when he told Emily she better not get lazy with that body, but its cool if she gets fat he will still love her he will just not love on her. I am sorely disappointed in Travis caving to Emily's friends telling him that carrying around a giant egg made him look like a delta bravo. If you are going to use a prop you should be forced to use it for the whole season. I loved that when Emily smashed it you could see all of the guys shadows looking through the window. In the end Stevie Shore got the boot, you can't expect E to keep someone who dances like that around Ricki. The risk of him taking Ricki on daddy daughter dates to fistpump in Karma was just too great. I have the final four and winner pegged and it is: Arie, Chris, Sean and Doug and the winner .....Chris (just a feeling). Finally, when are we going to start mixing in a hot tub?

Ricki Needs A Daddy!

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Like I wasn't going to blog about Emily. I think this is the season I've been waiting for and evidenced by the countless dudes crying it is going to be historic. Nice dress BTW. Here we go stream of consciousness style: Nice egg weirdo, that better be hard-boiled, what are you going to do when it breaks just like you and Emily's love.....TG we got the only black guy out of the house so quickly, the last thing we want is Emily having feelings for a minority......The natural thing to say to someone from Brazil speaking Portuguese would clearly be Gracias......Mrs. Doubtfire always gets me in the mood, I don't know what Emily's problem is?.....Finally a Colombian in the house, who doesn't like anteaters.....Helicopter guy is not a ratings plant, he is there for true love.....What the, there is a racecar driver in the house, how could producers not have thought how this might affect Emily ahead of time??......"I may have had a head injury but there is nothing wrong with my heart"...I know about wrinkled suits and Charlie's suit definitely had been on the bedroom floor for the last two weeks....Leave it to Utah to bring the "Power of Love" Marty McFly style entrance, he should have teamed up with boombox guy to play "don't need money, don't need fame, don't need no credit card to ride this train, it's the power of love.".....6 kid guy is right in giving up hope....Single dad guy is a little too interested in Ricki, a little creepy.....this is the hardest and most intense thing I've ever gone through says the delta bravo who just got voted out, you were there for 30 minutes, really, that is the hardest thing you have ever been through?.....Mr. Protein made an excellent point by removing his shirt, Emily did miss out, I even wanted to run my hands through his ab cleavage. On another note we have some very important and exciting Bachelor news, Chris Harrison is getting divorced. He immediately joins the ranks of Bradley Cooper, Derek Jeter, George Clooney and Tim Tebow as America's most eligible. Rumor has it that his wife Gwen got fed up with him announcing: Gwen, this is the final chicken salad sandwich, this is the final hot fudge sundae, this is the final egg, this is the final glass of milk, this is the final time you can go to bed, this is the final shower, this is the final tooth brushing and this is the final time I am going to cheat on you.