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| Now That We're Engaged Will You Help Me With This |
Whitney Meets The Family:
It's about time Whitney gets an opportunity to meet the sisters that gave the Cinderella date to a drunk stripper instead of her. Whitney plays it cool (of course) I would have laid into them and told them their advice means nothing, because if they had their way Chris would be out in his barn watching a laptop.
I swear Whitney, hired a PR firm prior to meeting the family, she is too perfect. Her toast seemed like a professionally written speech right down to the perfect time to get emotional. This girl is polished.
Chris' sister give Chris some really great advice "Don't choose the one you love, choose the one that will move to Arlington." Great advice. If Mrs. JonoBeingJono didn't want to live in SoCal I would dump her, no questions asked.
Becca Meets The Family:
Chris' family "You've known him for 25 days and you can't say I love you, you are a coldhearted wench" or something like that.
Serious Analysis Time: I think Becca is really fun and has a great personality. All of the girls talk about how great and fun she is, so I think that is why Chris likes her so much (and she's decently hawt). Meanwhile, Whitney is great, she is nice and a sure bet, but maybe not quite as fun and exciting as Becca.
Back to the blog: Chris' mom thinks Becca is a cross between Jerry Seinfeld and Jim Gaffigan, she could hardly sit up during Becca's standup routine. It is a close call right now between Sean's Dad and Chris' mom for the top parent in Bachelor History (in case you're wondering no one will top Des' brother for top sibling in Bachelor History).
Becca and Chris One On One:
I cried. You could touch how much Chris wanted Becca, but she just wouldn't give it up. Just couldn't let those walls down. Just couldn't accept the journey. In the end it cost her the opportunity at finding her first love.
Whitney and Chris One on One:
After Becca wouldn't give in, Chris accepted his fate and took Whitney to the farm where she feigned excitement over harvesting some corn. She must really like him. Back at the house Whitney pours her heart out to Chris and he mumbles something and says "I reciprocate". I've always found that telling women "ditto" or "I reciprocate your feelings" causes them to swoon.
Final Rose Ceremony:
Chris is getting ready and has his shirt off. Boy, he really let himself go, he's getting a little flabby. Codycode just threw his shoe through his TV. What better setting for an engagement than the place Chris raised his first pig.
First up Becca, is it a little awkward that he kissed her, five minutes before he gets engaged? Oh well Whitney's not watching so yolo. Becca gets dumped and couldn't be more devastated errrrrr emotional errrrr sad errrrrrr when's the next flight back to San Diego, I could still hit happy hour for sushi in the gaslamp district.
Whitney shows up and thinks she is the Bachelorette as she gets real chatty and starts giving Chris a speech, uh this is not how it goes. He gives the speech. Chris drops to a knee and they get engaged, I can't wait for the wedding, true love is amazing.
It has been quite a hayride (farming reference) for prince farming (farm reference) as he looked for a soulesmate (last name pun). Many of the girls were full of drama but they reaped what they sowed (farm reference) as they lost their chance at true love. We heard a lot of corny jokes (farm reference) and despite Jade's ability to raise cocks (farming reference) she was let go. Britt was good at moving pipe (farm reference) but alas she was also let go. In the end Prince Farming found his true love and they can escape into the sunset singing that legendary farm rap Hay Hoe Hip Hop Hooray Hoe Hay Hoe Hay Hoe (lots of farm references).
ATFR:
What do you know Becca still doesn't care. Harrison why the double standard? If Becca were Who Pablo you would be killing her. I guess its okay for white people to be cold but not latinos.
Chris and Whitney are very in love and she has been sneaking off to the farm so that Chris can plow her field.
On to some more interesting news, for the first time ever there will be 2 Bachelorettes. My two faves from the year Britt and Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn could not be more stoked about it, Britt better watch her back.
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| Why Is Britt Here? |
I don't see how this could go wrong. So what if there are guys hooking up with both of them, they can't get mad because he can just say, you are dating like 10 dudes why you giving me grief about 2 girls?
Girl drama is almost always better than guy drama so at least we will still have that. But in the end true love for 2 couples is better than true love for 1 couple so I am all for it.
